IF BRAND SLOGANS WERE COMPLETELY HONEST:
Visa: "Everywhere you want to be, except for out of debt."
FedEx: "Delivery tomorrow. Psych! No, really- tomorrow. Psych!"
Lexus: "It’s a Toyota. No, really- it is."
Q-Tips: "Yeah, okay- they're for your ears."
Pringles: "Good luck getting your hand out of the can!"
Unfrosted Pop-Tarts: "Yes, you did buy the wrong kind."
Shredded Wheat: “We've got just one ingredient.
Guess what it is.”
Grape Nuts: "No grapes, no nuts."
Campbell's Soup: "Mmm, mmm, sodiummm!"
Bounty Paper Towels: "But you're still gonna wipe your hands on your jeans"
Margarine: "I CAN believe it’s not butter."
Miracle
Whip: "You have no idea what mayonnaise tastes like, do you?"
Hidden Valley Ranch: "Making even raw vegetables bad for you"
Pepsi: “Sorry, we don't have Coke. Is Pepsi ok?”
Taco Bell: "Making 32 different things with the same 5 ingredients"
Wendy's: "We can't believe we're
still in business, either!"
Red Lobster: "The endless shrimp has ended."
