AULD LANG SYNE

Guy Lombardo, Harry Houdini, Harry Kellar-

and the UVa Cavaliers?

The classic New Year's Eve tune has ties to both

the world of magic and to Charlottesville VA!

Lately I've noticed that people my age are much older than me.

Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes 

and no one asks what the hell is wrong with you.

Remember when our teachers used to say:
“You won’t have a calculator everywhere you go!”
Guess we showed them!

Behind every husband who thinks he wears the pants 

is a woman who told him which pants to wear.

I went to a binocular store to buy a pair 

and I think they took advantage of me. 

I guess they saw me coming.

Every time a little boy went to a playmate’s house, 

he found the friend’s grandmother deeply engrossed in her Bible. 

Finally his curiosity got the better of him.
“Why do you suppose your grandmother reads the Bible so much?” he asked.
“I’m not sure,” said his friend, “but I think she’s cramming for her finals.”