Walked into a liquor store and the clerk asked me, "Do you need any help?"
I said "Definitely. That's why I'm here at 10 am buying alcohol!"
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Tried walking up a hill without a watch, but I had
neither the time nor the inclination.
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People often accuse me of "stealing other's jokes" and being a "plagiarist".
Their words, not mine.
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And It's hard to joke with a kleptomaniac.
They
always take things literally.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?Â
Two: One to screw it in most of the way and another to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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