70% of the earth is water, and virtually none of it is carbonated.
So the earth is, in fact, flat.
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato!
A cougar who needs a hearing aid is a def leopard.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
I waited all day for the repair man to come and fix my doorbell.
He didn't show up.
I don't think.
Two men are on opposite sides of the river.
The first man shouts, “How do I get to the other side of the river?”
The other man yells, “You ARE on the other side of the river!”
They say all the world is a stage.
Then where is the audience sitting?