IF BRAND SLOGANS WERE COMPLETELY HONEST:
Target: “At least we're not Walmart.”
Ticketmaster: "There’s No Choice Like No Choice!"
Visa:
"Everywhere you want to be, except for out of debt."
FedEx: "Delivery tomorrow. Psych! No, really- tomorrow. Psych!"
Boeing: "Enjoy our open door policy."
Lexus: "It’s a Toyota. No, really, it is."
Tesla: "Don't know how to drive? Us either."
Q-Tips: "Yeah, they're for your ears."
Pringles: "Good luck getting your hand out of the can!"
Unfrosted Pop-Tarts: "Yes, you did buy the wrong kind."
Shredded Wheat: “We've got just one ingredient. Guess what it is.”
Grape Nuts: "No grapes, no
nuts."
Campbell's Soup: "Mmm, mmm, sodiummm!"
Bounty Paper Towels: "But you're still gonna wipe your hands on your jeans"
Margarine: "I CAN believe it’s not butter."
Miracle Whip: "You have no idea what mayonnaise tastes like, do you?"
Hidden Valley Ranch: "Making even raw vegetables bad for you"
Pepsi: “Sorry, we don't have Coke. Is Pepsi ok?”
Taco Bell: "Making 32 different things with the same 5 ingredients"
McDonald’s: “Where the ice cream machine is always down”
Burger King: "We
can't believe we're still open, either!"
Waffle House: "Fight! Fight! Fight! Also, we've got waffles."
Red Lobster: "The endless shrimp has ended."
