If you've never tried archery blindfolded, 

you don't know what you're missing.

I wanted to be a waiter, 

because I knew I could bring a lot to the table.

Elon Musk bought Twitter for 44B dollars.
Wow. 

I got it from the App Store for free.

My wife asked me, "Is it just me, or is the cat getting fat?"
Apparently, "It's just you" is the wrong answer.

I wish somebody could tell me what "IDK" means.
Everytime I ask, they say "I don't know".

I have two unwritten rules:
1.------------------
2.------------------

My friend says his wife still thinks he's sexy.
Because every time he walks by her, she says "What an ass."