I crossed my Christmas tree with my iPad.
Now I have a pineapple.
How is Christmas exactly like your job?
You do all the work and some fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has No-el.es
What do you call an elf
that can sing and dance?
Elfis.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes
What do you call a work break for Santa?
A Santa Pause.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
"Do you smell carrots?"
Why didn’t Rudolph get a good report card?
Because he went down in history.
What goes “Oh, Oh, Oh”?
Santa walking
backwards!
What's the difference between Santa and a knight?
One slays the dragon, the other drags the sleigh.
I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas.
She told me, “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.”
So I bought her nothing.
What did the wise men say after they offered up their gifts of gold and frankincense?
"But wait, there's myrrh!"
The 3 stages of
man:
He believes in Santa Claus.
He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.
He is Santa Claus.
Knock, knock! Who’s there?
Ho Ho.
Ho Ho who?
Your Santa impression needs a little work!
What comes at the end of Christmas Day?
The letter “Y!”
